Ganek's Monthly Wrap
by Craig Ganek
cganek@gmail.com
After watching Kenny Lofton and Vinny Testaverde the last few weeks, I think it’s time to give you my favorite old dudes of sports…and without further ado, let’s roll:
5. Kevin “Dinosaur arms” Willis
At the age of 44, the Dallas Mavericks signed the 7-foot former Michigan St. Spartan last year and even gave him 42 minutes of court time to showcase a body that would make Michael Sweetney cry. I’m not trying to be an azz and only made All-Tournament on my Church League team, but have you ever seen a frontcourt banger with shorter-arms…he looks like a Tyrannosaurs Rex grabbing a rebound.
4. Charlie Hough
Who doesn’t love a 46 year-old knuckleballer who reminds you more of the Crisco, Bardall, Vagisil wonder known as Eddie Harris from the movie Major League. I don’t know why I think this is cool, but all knuckleball pitchers should have career record of exactly .500…just like my Homeboy Charlie, 216 wins & 216 loses.
3. Doug Flutie
The hairy-armed little magician played in the toughest professional league until he was 43 years-old. Stat stuffer: After the age of 40, Doug Flutie became the only player ever to rush for 2 Tds in a game and be named AFC Offensive Player of the week (Fyi, that’s my first Stat Stuffer). How many short-white dudes can say they won a Heisman Trophy, became a legend in Canada for something other than hockey, and are able to say they met and played for Bill “I am GOD” Belichick.
2. Harold Baines
You know you’re old when your number is retired by the White Sox in 1989, only to find yourself playing for them from 1996-97…and then again from 2000-01. While the DH/RF probably had the prettiest left-handed swing and blackman’s beard I’ve ever seen, what was more amazing was the fact that he only said 9 words over the course of his 22-year career.
1. Danny Almonte
After throwing the 1st perfect game in the 2000 Little League World Series, Mr. Almonte proceeded to strike-out 62 of 72 batters in tournament in 2001. But following numerous investigations, it turned out Danny was older than Heather Locklear, and was then forced to pitch against kids his age and never seemed to find the dominance he had when strikin’-out T-ballers. One a cool side note, in 2005, information leaked that Danny was married to women in her 30s…the funny thing…I’M NOT FRICKIN’ JOKING!!!
G a n e k ‘ s M o n t h l y W r a p
Do you have something for my Monthly Wrap? Shoot me a sarcastic email at cganek@gmail.com, and I may add your thoughts. Picture me Strollin’.