Buzz Magazine

Just when the White Sox seemed to be rolling along, going from potential seller to likely buyer, ace pitcher Jake Peavy goes down for the count with a possible season ending injury. Diagnosed with a detached muscle in his shoulder, the timing couldn’t have been worse for the former All Star, who had begun to pitch as expected when the Sox dealt for him, only serving up three earned runs in his last four starts. So now the question is – what’s next for GM Kenny Williams?

With talk already surfacing about adding a left-handed bat, the focus may have shifted to an experienced pitcher to take Peavy’s place in the rotation. In the meantime, Sox prospects Jeff Marquez and Daniel Hudson have both been mentioned as possible candidates. Hudson, is 7-3 in his last starts with a 2.64 ERA in which he has held opponents to a .194 batting average during that span. A flamethrower, Hudson has already struck out 108 batters in just 93 innings in AAA-Charlotte this season. Marquez, the other option, sports a 4.02 ERA with just 54 K’s in 94 innings in the minors this season. The Sox have already called on Marquez to join the team, but perhaps just to handle bullpen work until a fifth starter is needed.  

"Getting up here is half the battle and the next battle is staying," Marquez said of his first promotion to the majors. "Whether I'm going to be here for a couple of days or stay longer, that's up in the air."
  

Whether the Sox will opt to go with an inexperienced rookie the rest of the way or decide to shop for a veteran pitcher who knows how to win in the Major Leagues, remains to be seen. 

Still, with the Sox new pitching woes, rumors have not slowed about Williams landing a big left-handed bat – namely Washington’s Adam Dunn, who recently had a three homerun game and has twenty dingers on the year. Other possibilities could be Russell Branyan or Casey Kotchman from the sell-ready Mariners.

One thing is for sure, Kenny Williams is not known to sit on his hands.     

With the utterance of a few words on live television tonight, LeBron James will simultaneously crush the hopes of NBA fans in several cities across America while giving NBA title dreams to another lucky fanbase in Miami, Cleveland, Chicago, or New York.  It really is a twisted spectacle of can’t miss TV.

The rumor mill has been churning nonstop for weeks now, but the word from “Reliable sources close to James” point to the formation of a seemingly unbeatable trio of James joining Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade in Miami to play for the Heat.  For the Chicago Bulls, this is a disaster scenario because they went from frontrunner in the free agent sweepstakes to consolation prize winner with the signing of forward Carlos Boozer. 

It is still hard to imagine that LeBron will go on ESPN this evening and stab the city of Cleveland in the back.  But the Cavaliers have done little to bolster its roster and improve the team other than hiring Byron Scott as head coach.  If LeBron does decide to bolt from Cleveland for South Beach, I (and many other fans) will view it as nothing more than a cop out. 

LeBron has a chance to form his own legacy.  The notion that if he played for the Bulls, he would be overshadowed by Michael Jordan’s legacy is totally ridiculous.  LeBron has formed his own name over the last seven seasons and will continue to do so.  He will be scrutinized by the media and fans no matter where he goes.  But the king going to Miami to me feels like LeBron is saying, “I need all the help I can get.”  He feels the pressure to win titles so much that he has to team up with two of the NBA’s best players and form a proverbial dream team.  If he signs with Miami, he’s admitting he can’t do it himself.

I’m not just saying this as a bitter Bulls fan that is still holding out hope that LeBron will see the light and make a decision to join a team that will have the best roster around him.  I’m saying this as an NBA fan.  I want to see that LeBron has some guts.  If he signs with Chicago, or even with the New York Knicks, he’s saying, “Alright Wade and Bosh, you have your team, I have mine.  Bring it on.”  If he wants to be considered a legend while at the same time turning his back on his hometown, this is what he needs to do. 

I know that LeBron can’t really win in this situation.  But let’s be honest, he has not handled this free agency period well.  He has jerked several franchises around, and has disregarded his hometown and roots almost completely all in an effort to improve his brand.  He created a Twitter account and will launch a new website after announcing his decision tonight on live TV.  This isn’t as much about basketball anymore as it is about advertising.  That’s what’s really sad about this whole thing.

To me, it makes more sense for Lebron to go to a team like the Bulls or Knicks.  The Bulls have a great roster that could surround James and allow him to both pass well and score.  The can also pick up the slack if King James is ever underperforming.  The Knicks have a lot of money to improve their roster, and already signed forward Amare Stoudemire.  The city and franchise are perfect for LeBron’s inflated ego and brand.  With the Heat, LeBron will be playing with two stars, and nine rookies or minimum salary free agents.  From a basketball standpoint, it’s a no brainer to me.  The Bulls have the most to offer.  Obviously, there’s much more going on with this decision for LeBron.

All I know is that tonight, there’s a good chance that my respect for LeBron James will diminish, and I know many fans feel the same way.  At the end of the day, tonight will likely show that branding and advertising mean as much if not more to professional basketball players than winning itself.  But hey, we have to tune in to find out.       

The Down Side of Suicide: A Divine Comedy 

When: Fri 7/16 and Sat 7/31, 9:30 PM,

 Price: $15

When I heard the title of the newest show offered in Wicker Park’s quaint Gorilla Tango Nation Theatre: The Down Side of Suicide, “comedy” was not the first thing that crossed my mind.  This dark humored and at times raunchy show is not for the faint of heart.  Audience members find Abe Hutchins in a deplorable and outlandish act that sends him plummeting through the underworld on his journey to reach his eternal punishment.  Along the way, a few celebrities (some dead and some still living) are met, the ultimate divine spirit and devil cross paths, weird romances are formed, and some sort of message was learned in the end.

The cast of six talented actors carried out the jokes that lacked depth and intellect.  Most jokes fell short not in the delivery, but in the writing.  On the same level of “dead baby jokes”, I found my inner pre-teen self laughing nervously at jokes that I knew I shouldn’t find humorous. 

To sum it up: the actors have potential but the script and direction fall short of higher high school promise.  It was good for a few cheap laughs but not a show you’d want to see time after time.  Remember to keep an open mind if you decide to go and remember that they're just kidding even if they made fun of the son of God.

And if dead baby jokes and outlandish humor are your thing, performances run Wednesdays, June 16-30, 2010, Saturdays, July 3 & 31, 2010, and Fridays, July 9 & 16, 2010, all at 9:30pm at Gorilla Tango Theatre, 1919 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago 60647.  Tickets are $15; to purchase tickets call 773-598-4549 or visit www.gorillatango.com. Special student offer, buy one get one free with valid student ID that are available at the door.

For years I sported non-slip shoes and served Chicago's public to make a living. When I first found myself taking orders, the tips compensated for the state's low hourly wage rates for waitresses. But, as the economy began to plummet, so did my daily income. Nobody could even spare ten percent of their bill anymore, and my hourly wage sat at $4.25. Luckily, my restaurant smiled at one of Chicago's busy expressways, so there was more hope for my working environment than there were for others. Occasionally, celebrities strolled through our doors, and it was always a wonder as to who the lucky server would be. After all, you would think the faces from our televisions are some of the only humans still able to leave a generous bill on the table after their meals...right? Guess again.

Imagine having models, fighters, singers, and rappers entering the doorways of the place you are serving at. It almost sounds like a dream come true, until you learn the truth. Even the famous people are money pinchers. What is even worse, they almost all expect to be treated royally. Sure, I have heard a story or two of a generous celebrity. Who doesn't remember last summer, when actor Johnny Depp came to Chicago and left his server with no headache (plus four grand!)? However, it was a story for a reason: it's rare.

I had the number one world welterweight champion sit in my section. Personally, I don't follow fighting matches that often, but table 24 had a face that hung from the ceilings of Sports Authorities next to other great athletes across the nation, and I hoped he would bestow a pleasant reward upon my chosen seat. He wasn't rude, at least he agreed to take a picture with the workers, but when I brought him the bill his accomplice scoffed at how the meal wasn't free. I apologized, I really was sorry, but when I had approached my manager about nixing the bill, he shot me down. Of course, I couldn't tell the champ and his friend that, so I just blushed while sheepishly repeating, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...". After the welterweight pro's friend scoured at me for what seemed like an eternity (probably a minute or two), I left and then arrived to accept their payment. Once they had forked over the cash, I graced them with thanks as they solemnly rose and exited. The tip? Ten bucks. No, their bill wasn't outrageously large, but I thought twenty dollars minimum would have been appropriate. You live, you learn.

One night I got a text from a friend and co-worker of mine that one of my favorite rappers had just walked through the front doors of our work. I lived an hour away, but I jumped in my car and shook while I anticipated sharing the same air as him. When I arrived, he had just left. It was poor timing, but I stayed to have a drink and discuss what I had missed. Fellow servers gushed over how polite he had been, he had taken a picture with everyone, he had signed autographs, his girlfriend was beautiful...oh, and his bill was as much as he tipped - nothing. You heard it, nothing. Hey, at least he was nice (I guess).

Not all stars are as charming as the above rapper. Just a week prior to his arrival, a known R&B singer strutted through the same doors as his rapper friend. During his visit, his manager forbid pictures, autographs, and the recognized celeb even sat and watched as my manager cracked his crab legs for him upon request. After a strict drop-in, my crab cracking manager zeroed the bill, and the lucky waitress scored nothing but some crumbs left behind.

What gives, Chicago!? Note to all: 20% tips should be per usual - even if you're famous. Scratch that, especially if you're famous! Not a tipper? Then hit up a drive-thru. Bon appétit!