Film Reviews

Film Reviews (87)

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Thursday, 15 July 2010 13:55

DVD Review: Hammerhead (2005)

Written by Julie Gorzkowski

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Friends,

Every once in awhile, a movie comes along that inspires you. You find yourself lost in the world of these incredible characters, brought together onscreen in a flawless performance designed to make you push the limits of what you thought was scientifically possible, and move into a new reality; a world without death and disease, where man and beast unite in a peaceful Utopia, and all worries and cares are left behind.

That world, my friend, belongs to Dr. Preston King (Jeffery Combs), mad scientist extraordinare who has been exiled from the scientific community, and has spent his free-time building a scientific lab on a secluded island with one noble purpose: to fuse shark and human DNA in order to fight cancer.

How? Well… Dr. King doesn’t exactly say. Or maybe he does, but we’re too lost in the beauty of the island, the lush foliage in his experimental greenhouse, or the… wait a second… are those pregnant women locked in giant test-tubes of water? That can’t be right. Oh, but no worries. After all, he’s wearing a lab coat and glasses, so he must know what he’s doing. Anyway, over the course of some hastily-written dialogue, we learn that Dr. King has set up a series of human experiments resulting in the ultimate fusion freakazoid: the SharkMan.

SharkMan is the current state of being for Dr. King’s son Paul, who spent the end of his homosapien days fighting a losing battle with cancer. Unwilling to stand idly by as his son passed away, Dr. King did what any normal father would do: he fused his DNA with that of a shark, leaving his only child a half-man, half-shark monster who seems a tad disgruntled about his current state of being. Or at least, that’s what we assume, based on the fact that Paul the SharkMan seems to spend every waking moment of his day trying to eat the people around him.

Enter Amelia Lockhart (Hunter Tylo) and Tom Reed (William Forsythe), two scientists who are about to travel to this deserted island, because they have clearly never seen a sci-fi disaster movie, and thus do not understand the dangers involved with banishing a mad scientist to a remote location. Amelia, Tom, and their team of nameless coworkers arrive at the island, and are almost immediately attacked by SharkMan. I’ll spare you the details, as these scenes are much better seen than read about, but let me assure you—terror ensues.

Or, at least, terror would ensue, if the movie ever actually SHOWED SharkMan. It seems that the production budget was too small to allow for the creation of a SharkMan costume, so we never see him in his entirety—instead, we get a blurred creature running through the woods in one scene, a fin coming out of the water in the next, rows of teeth biting through human flesh moments later… but hey, you get the idea. He’s a shark that can walk on land. And he’s coming for YOU.

Over the next 90 minutes, we enjoy some overly dramatic acting, a lot of corn-syrupy blood, and a fantastic plot twist (spoiler alert): apparently Dr. King is working on the newest phase of his experiment—attempting to get Paul the SharkMan to MATE WITH HUMAN WOMEN. Unfortunately, Paul the SharkMan seems a little hazy on the details of procreation, and spends most of his time eating the pretty girls that dad has brought home for him to date. Silly Paul. You can’t have your women and eat them too.

Anyway. You get the gist. It’s a damn shame this movie never hit theaters, but luckily, it’s out there on DVD, permanently gracing the Blockbuster shelves and Netflix queues for your viewing pleasure. Get a group of friends together for bad movie night and check it out. You won’t be sorry.

IMDB Information, in case you're interested: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0459392/

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Wednesday, 07 July 2010 00:32

The A-Team Movie Review

Written by John Lee

After years of rumors and false starts, the 1980s classic The A-Team is finally coming to the movie theaters. Fans of the old TV series need not be worried, this new film is everything you could have hoped for.

The back story of the movie remains pretty true to the TV series. The A-team is a group of United States special forces members who were framed for war crimes that they did not commit. Constantly on the run from the U.S. Government who is trying to hunt them down as war criminals, these 4 guys end up doing good deeds by helping innocent people who are in trouble.

In the TV series these guys were former Vietnam veterans. Since the last episode was over 20 years ago, the producers have updated the story slightly and made them Iraqi war veterans.

When I saw the advance screening I damn near did a double-take as each of the 4 principle characters look almost identical to their 1980s counterparts.

Firstly, multiple Oscar nominee Liam Neeson plays the leader of the A-Team Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith. Hannibal was played originally by George Peppard, and I don’t know what they did to Neeson to make him look so much like Peppard. It’s astonishing. Liam spends much of the movie chomping on that old familiar cigar and coming up with some very unorthodox schemes, which always get the other guys eyes rolling.

Lieutenant Templeton "Faceman" Peck is played by Bradley Cooper (Dirk Benedict played Peck in the TV show). Always referred to as just “Face”, he is the good looking, smooth-talking one of the bunch who uses his charm and charisma to talk people out of items that the A-Team is in immediate need of. Need a fighter plane? …. let Face get it.

Sharlto Copley plays the team's pilot, Captain H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock. Not many pilots can claim they have been declared insane, but Murdock can. He is such a good flyer that the rest of the team can overlook his “special circumstances”. Murdock was played by Dwight Schultz originally.

Finally there is Sergeant Bosco Albert B.A. "Bad Attitude" Baracus. He is the “muscle” of the quartet and has all the best quotes. This is the role that made Mr. T famous worldwide back in the 1980s. The producers knew they could not screw up the casting of this character, so they put Ultimate Fighting champion Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson in the part. This was probably the best choice they made as Jackson looks and sounds just like Mr T. Each time he grunts “fool!” the memories come flooding back.

Critics of the TV series always lamented how violent the show was. While it was true there were always gunfire, explosions and buildings being destroyed, no one ever got seriously hurt. Heck, almost no one got even as much as a bruise!.

This time it is much different. You can’t have a high-voltage action-adventure movie without people getting hurt. The body count is high in The A-Team 2010. The bad guys (and some good ones) get what is coming to them.

The special effects are unbelievable. The explosions rock the room you’re in and are almost non-stop. Apparently being ex-special forces means you can still get your hands on the biggest explosives made.

If this movie does well you can expect sequels. The ending is set up that way, though I won’t divulge any secrets. Safe to say that the final firefight is among the most complex and riveting battle scenes ever filmed.

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Thursday, 01 July 2010 01:31

Prince of Persia The Sands of Time Movie Review

Written by John Lee

Prince of Persia The Sands of Time is a throwback to the action packed movie serials of the old days. Absolutely gorgeous CGI cinematography and special effects makes this a “must see” movie on anybody’s list.

Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) is the adopted third son of King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup) of Persia. As the movie starts the King gets word that a neighboring Holy City has accumulated powerful weapons of mass destruction that the people plan to use against Persia. As a preemptive move (sound familiar?) the King sends a small attack force, led by Dastan, into the city to capture the city and the weapons.

After the successful capture of the city, the beautiful princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) and the hanging of the Mission Accomplished banner, King Sharaman arrives to lecture and scold the people. As a reward for his heroic behavior, the King also decides to give the captured princess Tamina to Dastan as a wife. But before the King can make it official he is murdered, and his son Dastan is framed for the killing.

Dastan escapes the city with Tamina and a magical dagger that has time-travelling powers. The rest of the movie deals with the 2 outlaws trying to evade capture long enough to clear Dastan’s name and find the real killer of his father. Not only are they in pursuit by the King’s army, but others who wish to control the power of the dagger are also trying to capture Dastan and Tamina.

Prince of Persia The Sands of Time is based upon a popular computer game created back in 1989. In that game you controlled a character (prince) through a series of increasingly difficult levels until you got to the end. This movie tries to give the same type of feel as playing a video game. Dastan and Tamina travel through a series of frenetic chase scenes where they must elude their followers. At the end of each “level” they find themselves at the beginning of a new challenge more difficult than before.

This movie is visually stunning, just as you would expect from a Walt Disney movie produced by the now legendary Jerry Bruckheimer. He was the one that adapted that old theme park boat ride to the movies in that blockbuster Pirates of the Caribbean.

Now Prince of Persia The Sands of Time is not as good as Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s not that the story is lacking or that the movie doesn’t look spectacular. The missing ingredient is Johnny Depp. With Depp, Bruckheimer caught lightning in a battle. The Pirates of the Caribbean movies would not have been nearly as good without him and his many memorable quotes.

Jake Gyllenhaal is a very good actor (Brokeback Mountain), but he just doesn’t have the charisma of Johnny Depp. But if you don’t try to compare the 2 movies then you will have a great time watching Prince of Persia The Sands of Time.

Two performances worth singling out are those of Ben Kingsley as Nizam, Dastan's uncle and Alfred Molina as Amar, the humorous leader of a band of outlaws. Kingsley is always great in whatever he’s in, and he gives the movie a sense of authenticity in every scene in which he appears. Alfred Molina is just damn funny. As the outlaw leader who makes a living racing Ostriches, he easily gets the movie’s best lines.

Whatever you do, do not leave your seat during the last 30 minutes of this movie. The epic battle that ends this film is a gorgeous-looking action-adventure spectacle that you will not forget anytime soon. Supposedly, Jake Gyllenhaal trained with an expert for months in parkour to get through the finale.

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Saturday, 29 May 2010 15:41

The Complete METROPOLIS - review

Written by Bruce Colón

In its day, it has been accused of fascism by the left and Communist leanings by the right. It faced commercial failure during its initial run in Germany, leading to a quick (and many say careless) re-edit by US partner Paramount in order to make it more palatable for American audiences. Since then, there have been numerous attempts to restore what is widely considered the most influential sci-fi film of all time back to its former glory (including an ‘80s version with an unseemly MTV score). Which brings us to what is being billed as “The Complete METROPOLIS,” a newly restored version of Fritz Lang’s visionary and ambitious 1927 silent film classic, opening June 4 at the Music Box Theatre (with a DVD release to follow shortly after). For fans and film buffs alike, this is the fulfillment of an 80+ year old grail quest.

Does the “finished” product (a relative term when it comes to film restorations) live up to expectations? That depends on what the expectations are. As a nearly century-old artifact, it is still a stunning piece of work and its influence obvious on everything from Star Wars and Blade Runner to the Hammer horror films. The idea of a “chosen” figure to restore balance (while biblical and mythological in origin) has been the central conceit for the entire Star Wars, The Matrix, and Lord of the Rings franchises. The great villain Rotwang (awesome name for a heel) has been a key influence on Dr. Strangelove, the early James Bond films, nearly every Frankenstein movie ever made, and even Enter the Dragon (the artificial hand). And the story’s themes of class struggle, love as a healing and destructive force, and the dehumanization of heavy industry still resonate in 2010.

The restoration itself is a mixed blessing. Largely the results of a persistent Argentine film archivist named Fernando Peña, who helped discover a 16mm dupe negative that had been floating around Buenos Aires for decades, the latest version restores 25 minutes of lost footage to an earlier, partly restored 2001 re-release. While essential to understanding Lang’s original, uncompromised vision (as well as certain subplots involving secondary characters), the quality of the restored footage (from what is essentially a “backup” copy made of the original 35mm nitrate print) is such that it distracts from the aesthetic beauty of the film. The splices are unmistakable and have the effect of taking you a bit “out” of the movie, though for film scholars the trade off is most likely well worth it.

While the film’s somewhat byzantine plot – essentially the classic struggle between a moral, idealistic son and his powerful, shadowy father – still has emotional currency, what still impresses most is the epic visual scope of the movie. Rooted in German Expressionism, “Metropolis” is loaded with indelible and iconic images: the opening’s lockstep march of the working class as they change shifts; Rotwang’s lab and his creation of the “false Maria”; the nighttime view of the “futuristic” city (pretty much the entire template for Blade Runner). There is a cold beauty to this movie that has aged well. Also essential to the film’s charm are the artful, pre-CG special effects. For a film that opened in 1927, the visual effects do not have that jarring, almost embarrassing quality that compromise other classics (many of which were produced decades later). Though definitely a pre-talkie relic, there is much about “Metropolis” that remains timeless. Like all great art, it transcends its day.

So, is the latest restoration worth catching? Due to the power of the original concept, “The Complete METROPOLIS” has something for everyone. For lovers of silent-films, this has all the charm and over-the-top theatrical acting one can hope for. For fans who only know the film through its various permutations on TV and home video, this is a way to see a beautiful classic in theaters once more. And for the scholars and hard-cores, this is one final (though flawed) step closer to perfection. “The Complete METROPOLIS” stands as a tribute to the most passionate and long-suffering champions of the work and to the extraordinary vision of its creator – a vision worth surrendering to at least once in your lifetime.

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