What the #$&%!!??: The Best?

Rants by Michael Greenwood
feedback@buzznews.net

Have you ever noticed how every single piece advertising, whether from the internet, TV, magazines, billboards or any source at all...is a painfully obvious bull faced lie? It seems to have gotten to the point now where it's just a free for all, no holds barred, all out fib-fest. And it's a runaway train that nobody's bothering to stop.

I was driving on Clark St. a while ago when I saw a sign that read "Voted #1 Hotdog in Chicago!" I thought...."Hey cool, that must be a damn good dog!" Continuing southbound no more than 4 or 5 blocks later was an entirely different hotdog place with a sign that read "Voted #1 Hotdog in Town!" I slammed on my brakes and was like, "What the #$&!!??" Is "town" somehow in no way related to Chicago? This place was no more than a half-mile from the other mendacious asses. And who's voting anyway? Someone’s lying here.

I then realized that I see this kind of thing constantly. "This is the best" and "That's the best". How can there be two bests? It's not even possible in the entire universe to have two of the same types of things that are both the best.

You've seen commercials on TV from almost every brand of shampoo claiming that theirs is "The best" because it contains all of these great vitamins and provides much needed nutrients for your hair. Nutrition does have an effect on hair but happens before growth from the follicle. The food we eat, proper rest and other internal factors make your hair healthy or not. Hair is dead skin cells. You can't give vitamins to a corpse. It won't reap any benefits...“cause it's dead.

"Going out of business" or "Liquidation" sales. A message of urgency and "rock bottom prices" is conveyed-where in reality, the lying bullshitters have no plans of closing their store or going out of business at all.

I, and I'm sure you, could go on and on. False advertising is an act of deliberately misleading a potential client about a product, service or company by reporting false or misrepresenting information in advertising or other promotional media. In other words, it's all lies and we are bombarded with them many times a day, everyday. We here at "THE BUZZ" would never advocate, support, nor accept this type of advertising to be in our periodical simply because we are way too good for that and happen to be the very best newspaper in the northern hemisphere. There is one paper in Outer Mongolia that is a bit better.