I know baseball has been dead and gone in Chicago for quite some time now, but how come we still seem to be the center of the baseball universe…or is it the eye of the hurricane? Either way its been an interesting October for Chicago baseball.
So Ozzie Guillen is no longer the manager of the Chicago White Sox. We always knew this day would come, it’s the how he’d go most people wondered. Fired was a given. And you knew there was no way he’d go out with a wimper, but more of a roar, and that’s exactly what happened. I imagined him leaving the craziest way possible, mf’ing everyone in a 200 foot distance on his way out the door, his sons taking everything not tied down, punching GM Kenny Williams in the face just before kicking Sun Times beat writer Joe Cowley in the nuts. again, this is what I envisioned.
It didn’t exactly go down like that, then again I wasn’t that far off. Who trades their manager? Ozzie’s big tirade about doing the job for money was pretty much the undertaker putting the final touches on a dead career as White Sox manager. At that point Ozzie knew he was gone. He was done, finished, kaput. He even had his goodbye already posted online before it was officially announced. Again, who trades their manager?
Oh White Sox, how silly can you be. Its amazing how wonderfully f’ed up the top of that organization is, and that says a lot from where I come from! Over on my side of town Theo Epstein is coming to run the place…but we’ll get into that later. For now let’s stay on the crazy that has become the White Sox.
So after the Ozzie/Kenny war finally comes to an end, Kenny keeps up his part of just being insane by announcing Robin Ventura as the new skipper. What? Ever see the movie Major League? I bet the conversation of Kenny asking Ventura to be manager was much like the GM in Major League calling up a tire shop and asking Lou (the tire shop manager) to come back and manage the big league team. I loved Robin…as a White Sox 3rd baseman playing with Frank Thomas and Jack McDowellback in the 90’s. I even loved him after he got beat up by Nolan Ryan. But as White Sox manager? Um….and unfortunately this is one of the few things Joe Cowley has gotten right.
You see Cowley at his job at the Sun Times (which at one point was my favorite newspaper to read for sports) seemed to be on this crusade to throw alcohol on the fire that was the Ozzie/Kenny feud. But he called Kenny out for attempting to thumb his nose up at all of us in proving that he’s the smartest guy in the room, and that he can get anyone ANYONE to do this job. BTW The Sun Times kinda sucks now…even the wrestling column sucks. Who messes up a column on professional wrestling???? Even still, Cowley got this one right on the head: Kenny thinks he's much smarter than we are.
Which leads us to more crazy….at the press conference announcing Ventura as manager K Dub as i am now calling him (sorry Kerry Wood), tells a story of thinking of asking 1st baseman Paul Konerko to be the player/manager. WTF??? You don’t even say that kind of crazy outloud, even if you did give it some thought. Poor Konerko, he wants no part of the job, or even to answer silly phone calls even remotely asking such a stupidquestion. Is that really what you thought, Kenny?
Again its at this point when you realize K Dub really thinks he can get ANYONE to do this job. That means on any given night this past summer after a White Sox game, SCORE670 am radio host Jason Goff had a shot to be manager after saying something insightful. That means Joe from Lockport, who can barely make it to 2nd base for his softball team without needing a pinch runner or farting himself to death, had a shot to be manager. That means even you, YES YOU WITH THE FACE, even you had a shot to be the new White Sox manager!!!
Now if I’m White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf its at this point I ask K Dub to get in the car, drive out to a nice far away open field, and put Kenny Williams the White Sox General Manager out of his misery. Thanks for playing, Kenny…and don’t stop believin’!
Speaking of believing, Theo Epstein is coming to the northside to bring the Cubs their 1st world series title in 100 or so years. He’s going to do the impossible. Just like Dusty Baker, Andy McPhail, Alfonso Soriano, Mark Prior, and Lou Piniella before him…he’s the one that’s going to take us to the promised land. It’s only a matter of time before…ugh, I’ve been on this ride so many times its almost impossible to actually get excited anymore.
I do like what the moves shows, and that’s a new direction for the Cubs organization as a whole, however there’s just soooo many questions and things that need to happen. The ball has to bounce just right for good things to start happening again at Wrigley, and while I believe the Ricketts and Epstein have the best of intentions and want to win, neither plays 3rd base or can throw a 100 mph fastball. Last I heard Theo wasn’t closing any games, which means Carlos Marmol is still around. Plus a new GM is one thing, but who's the new manager going to be? After the dust settles not to hire Cubs legend Ryne Sandberg for some big league job would be un-acceptable.
I’m glad Theo has arrived, but I’ve seen this movie before. The Titanic never makes it to its destination, Bambi’s mom still gets killed, that kid still shags a pie, and Jason still manages to come back no matter how many times you kill him. Call me when the winning starts.
