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Monday, 20 September 2010 20:13

Gwar Takes a Look Back at History Featured

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Gwar has been a tour de force since their beginning 25 years ago. And they've apologized for nothing. They've embraced what they've become and they haven't looked back.



Hailing from outer space and landing in Antarctica, Gwar has evolved from creatures that created humanity (by committing adultery with apes) to watching the very species they created turn into the inspiration for their musical art form. Oderus Urungus was able to take a moment to answer a few questions and talk about the amount of respect that many musicians lack.



Buzz: Oderus, thanks for taking the time talk to us, since you guys have been around since the dawning of the continents.....



Oderus: Actually, we created the continents. When we landed in Antarctica, our spaceship crashed into the land and created the continents. We then fucked a bunch of apes and created humanity. We are immortal.



Buzz: So since you guys have been around for a long time, how have you been to keep your looks and not wear make-up?



Oderus: Simple. We've always bathed in Jack Daniel's and ate a lot of crack. We also look great without costumes. We have always worn the same clothes--for the past 30,000 years. Let's be honest, why would you break something that works?



Buzz: That is true. Your formula has worked well for the past 25 years. You guys have been all around the world and have played countless gigs. You guys have also been a part of movies and video-games. How did it feel to be a part of the Beavis and Butt-head video-game?



Oderus: Basically, Viacom comes to us. They sit us down. Then they explain how they will place us in the video-game and we will make 2% of every game that sold after the 20,000 mark. We figured that we would do it because crack is kind of expensive. We are still waiting for our check.



GwarBuzz: Wow.



Oderus: Viacom works their deals as a way to promote you. They viewed it as us getting publicity.



Buzz: Yeah, because you guys need more publicity, right?



Oderus: [Laughs] Exactly. We're fucking Gwar. We create our own publicity. We know we're awesome. We are over-sized and we have always been more concerned about girth rather than height.



Buzz: Along with being in a video-game, you guys had the honor of being nominated for two Grammy Awards. What was it like going to the awards show?



Oderus: We had a discussion with the head of the Grammys; he told us that we were not allowed to show up as "us." We were told that we have to show up to the ceremony in tuxes and if we arrive looking like "us" on stage, we will then be asked to leave. We walk out of the limo and walk through security; as soon as we turn the corner from the security check-in, we got dressed as though we were on stage. Security then came to us and escorted us out of the venue. We then walked across the street to Sir Mix-A-Lot. Sir Mix-A-Lot rented a lot from across the street from the ceremony. He then placed an inflatable, 50-foot butt on the street across from the ceremony to protest the Grammys. We then partied with him and had more fun with a 50-foot butt then we would have had at the ceremony.



Buzz: Another highlight of your career was when you guys played Bonaroo this past summer. Tell us about your performance and why it was such a different gig for you guys.



Oderus: Well, first, it's Bonaroo. We're Gwar. We literally usually eat hippies for breakfast, though it was cool because the crowd was awesome. There were a lot of people that came to watch us; it turned out being one of our best shows. We played that festival to prove that we aren't going anywhere. We wanted to show people that we never change who we are regardless of the rest of the bands or comedians at the festival. The rest of the bands and comedians were really cool, too.



Buzz: I hear Margaret Cho treated you well.



Oderus: [Laughs] Yes she did.  She was a great sport. I don't know too many lesbian comedians that are able to suck a cock as well as she can. Honestly, you have to be a good sport if you are a lesbian comedian and take a huge load of semen on your face and mouth. I mean, I made her mouth look like a sliced watermelon.



Buzz: Along with playing Bonaroo, you guys are in the middle of doing a two-year celebration tour of being around for 25 years. How are you guys able to do so many gigs in such a short amount of time?



Oderus: Well, we have a bat-shaped helicopter that goes about eight miles an hour.



Buzz: How are you guys able to get through Arizona without papers?



Oderus: We carry weapons not papers. Usually once they see our weapons, they just let us go through. That's the nice thing about having your own vessel. They don't worry about it.



Buzz: What can people expect from you guys on this tour?



Oderus: I think the name says it all: Bloody Tour of Hell. We are destroying celebrities and people are going to be terrified. We also have sex with Sarah Palin. See, people forget that she is a fucking MILF. They can't get past the voting-booth politics and just admit that they would do her if they had the chance. I personally feel that the voting should be able to get you off. You know that everyone will vote for the person who gets them off the best.



Buzz: Who were the musicians that got you off the best? Influentially speaking, of course.



Oderus: Motorhead. They are the only band that has given us as much respect as we have given them. One time Lemmy came back stage and complimented us. That was something I will never forget. There aren't a lot of bands that really give us a lot of respect, which doesn't make any sense to me. We have helped influence the metal music world and helped make it what it is today. I awarded Kerry King a Golden God award. This motherfucker just snubbed me. I said congratulations and he wanted nothing to do me. That man is the jock of the metal music scene. I have even tried to call him out as often as possible in the press and he still hasn't done shit about it. Another band that doesn't give us any credit is Lordy. Really? These guys try to do what we do, and they completely suck at it. There's a reason why we have been around for years and bands like them aren't.



Buzz: Since there are bands similar to you guys, what are your sole missions as musicians?



Oderus: Rock out with our cocks out. We view our music as the closest thing to war. We like to keep making metal music. We understand it's difficult to get passed the sexiness. We're Gwar! We stand by ourselves. There is no other band that will ever take it to the level that we do. If people really want to see how far we take it, they can look on www.gwartv.net.

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