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Hell in a Handbag Productions is excited to continue its 2025/26 season with the world premiere of The Golden Girls: The Cheese Pyramid, a new addition to its acclaimed "Lost Episodes" parody series. Written by Artistic Director David Cerda* and directed by Brigitte Ditmars**, this comedic production will run from May 8 – June 21, 2026 at The Clutch, Handbag's boutique performance space at 4335 N. Western Ave. in Chicago. Tickets are now on sale at handbagproductions.org and buytickets.at/hellinahandbagproductions/2078392

The cast includes ensemble members Kelly Bolton*David Cerda*Grant Drager*Scott Sawa* and Danne W. Taylor* with Honey West. Additional casting to be announced.

About the Production:

In this hilarious new adventure, Rose (Ed Jones*) finds herself in need of extra income and stumbles upon a unique business opportunity — the first multi-level marketing company in St. Olaf, introducing local households to the cheeses of her hometown.

Pretty soon Rose has a garage full of cheese, and no idea how to get rid of it.

Enter Blanche (Grant Drager*), Dorothy (David Cerda*) and Sophia (Kelly Bolton*) with their creative ideas to help Rose organize an unforgettable cheese party, with the audience invited as guests. The show asks: Can the girls save Rose from financial disaster using their party-planning expertise?

Chicago's beloved geriatric superstars return in an all-new Golden Girls escapade, promising to deliver their cheesiest episode yet.

The production team includes Marcus Klein* (Scenic Design), Liz Cooper (Lighting Designer), Danny Rockett (Sound Designer), Syd Genco** (Make-Up Design) and Keith Ryan* (Wig Design).

*Denotes Handbag Ensemble Member | **Denotes Handbag Associate Member

PRODUCTION DETAILS:

Title: The Golden Girls: The Cheese Pyramid (A Lost Episodes Parody) – World Premiere!
Playwright: David Cerda*
Director: Brigitte Ditmars**
Cast (in alphabetical order): Kelly Bolton (Sophia), David Cerda* (Dorothy), Grant Drager* (Blanche), Ed Jones* (Rose), Scott Sawa (Stan), Danne W. Taylor* (Madame Zuhara) and Honey West (Ingrid Ostekongen). Additional casting to be announced.

Location: The Clutch, 4335 N. Western Ave., Chicago

Previews: Friday, May 8 at 7:30 pm, Saturday May 9 at 7:30 pm, Sunday, May 10 at 7:30 pm and Friday, May 15 at 7:30 pm
Opening: Saturday, May 16 at 7:30 pm
Regular run: Sunday, May 17 – Sunday, June 21, 2026
Curtain Times: Fridays and Saturday at 7:30 pm; Sundays at 3 pm and 7 pm. Please note: there will be added Industry Night performances on Monday, June 12 at 7:30 pm.

Tickets: $32* previews, $44* advanced general admission, $47* at the door, $59* VIP/reserved seating. Group rates $38 for 10 or more. Tickets are now on sale at handbagproductions.org and buytickets.at/hellinahandbagproductions/2078392. General admission tickets include a refreshment; VIP tickets include a refreshment, reserved premium seating and of course St. Olaf gourmet cheese. *Ticket prices include processing fees.

About the Artists

David Cerda (Playwright) is a founding member and Artistic Director of Hell in a Handbag Productions, now celebrating its 25th anniversary. As resident playwright, he has written many Handbag productions as well as acted in them. His play, The Drag Seed was recently produced at LaMaMa Experimental Theater and his Golden Girls Lost Episodes parody shows have been produced around the country and featured in Golden Con: Thank you for being a Fan, the world's first fan convention dedicated to all things Golden Girls at Chicago's Navy Pier. Cerda is a proud inductee into the Chicago LGBT Hall of Fame and recipient of a Jeff Award for lifetime achievement for his 27 years (and counting) of work and service to the community. He lives in Chicago with his partner, Christopher.

Brigitte Ditmars (Director) is a Chicago based director/choreographer who has been performing, choreographing and directing with Handbag since their inaugural production of Poseidon! An Upside Down Musical.  Previous Handbag credits include Bewildered, Caged Dames, How Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Happene, Poseidon... (2010), Rip Nelson's Halloween Spooktacular; Lady X and many iterations of Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer. Additional directing credits include Always, Patsy Cline (Jeff Nomination – Firebrand Theatre), The Secret Council (First Folio Theatre), Schoolhouse Rock Live (Birmingham Children's Theatre), Rock of Ages (Timberlake Playhouse), Maybe Baby, It's You and Nunsense (Fox Valley Repertory). She has received two Joseph Jefferson Awards for Outstanding Achievement in Choreography for Reefer Madness (Circle Theatre) and Pinafore! (Bailiwick Repertory), as well as 3 additional nominations.

About Hell in a Handbag Productions

Hell in a Handbag is dedicated to the preservation, exploration, and celebration of works ingrained in the realm of popular culture via theatrical productions through parody, music and homage. Handbag is a 501(c)(3) Not for Profit. For additional information, visit handbagproductions.org.

Published in Upcoming Theatre

I’ll admit it—I’ve never watched an episode of The Real Housewives. So, heading into Hell in a Handbag’s latest holiday production inspired by the series, I braced myself for a barrage of references that might slip past me. Turns out, I caught the vibe almost instantly—and once I did, the jokes flew fast and furious.

So, after a bit of research - for anyone else walking in blind - The Real Housewives is a reality TV juggernaut that blends glamour, intrigue, and high-stakes drama into a cultural phenomenon - and yes, the claws can come out. For nearly twenty years, the franchise has captivated audiences with its blend of luxury lifestyles, fiery confrontations, and unforgettable personalities - cementing its place as one of the most influential and enduring phenomena in modern pop culture. What began in Orange County soon spread to New York City, Atlanta, New Jersey, and beyond. But thanks to Hell in a Handbag, it was only a matter of time before The Real Housewives set up shop at the North Pole. That’s right - The Real Housewives of the North Pole is here.

The North Pole has never looked frostier. When Santa and his circle of high-powered holiday elites find themselves slapped with indictments for fraud, sending shockwaves through the snowy kingdom, the glittering facade of candy-cane wealth begins to crack. Now it falls to the women to rescue their families from looming financial ruin. Though practical survival skills are in short supply, the burden falls squarely on the housewives to rebuild an empire. Years of privilege have left them with closets overflowing in luxurious clothing and jewels, but little else to shield them when their glittering world is suddenly under threat.

In quintessential Handbag camp style, we’re introduced to the housewives who truly matter the most when the holidays roll around. At the heart of the series is Santa’s wife, Ruth Claus (Honey West), freshly embracing sobriety while wrestling with the family finances. Her anchor in the storm is the irresistibly suave Carlos (Taylor Mercado Owen), a sobriety coach whose steady charm keeps her grounded amid the glitter, chaos, and sappy drama of the North Pole. Always on the hunt for drama and the makings of a hit, BRAVO network producer Andy Cohen (David Lipschutz) wastes no time assembling a roster of North Pole divas. Enter Mrs. Samantha Frosty (Robert Williams), Mrs. Gladys Dasher (David Cerda), Clarice, the long-suffering wife of Rudolph (Anna Rose Steinmeyer), and Suzy Snowflake, Jack Frost’s icy better half (Britain Shutters). Once these housewives collide, the antics escalate at lightning speed - each outrageous clash topping the last, turning the show into a blizzard of hilarity and brawls.

As petty catfighting and ditziness reach new heights, make-up artist Cookie (Terry McCarthy) goes to heroic lengths to keep the housewives looking fabulous - even if it requires the occasional power tool. Meanwhile, the poor Production Assistant (Kelly Opalko) can’t catch a break, as no one seems able to remember her name… Petra, maybe?

(front, center) Anna Rose Steinmeyer with (back, l to r) Robert Williams, Taylor Mercado Owen, David Cerda and Britain Shutters in Hell in a Handbag Productions’ world premiere of The Real Housewives of the North Pole.

While visually filling to watch the chaos and absurdity unfold on stage, The Real Housewives of the North Pole also makes clever use of multimedia, employing dual screens to showcase interviews not only with the housewives themselves but also with a parade of special guests - including Santa (Michael Hampton) and Bernice (Ed Jones), the typical “average housewife.”

Amid the whirlwind of onstage action, there’s still another performance that deserves recognition. Stage Manager/Board Operator Conor Frank delivers one of the production’s most quietly dazzling performances, orchestrating an entire symphony of effects from the wings. With remarkable precision, he juggles live foley work and layered audio cues, transforming everyday objects into bursts of comic timing or atmospheric texture. Watching him at the side of the stage is its own kind of theater - an intricate dance of concentration and creativity that underscores the madness onstage.

A genuinely one-of-kind theatre company, Handbag’s comedic talent never fails to impress as their entire ensemble was outstanding, and their uncanny knack for casting ensures each role feels tailor-made. And just in time for the holidays, Hell in a Handbag has pulled it off yet again - another dazzling feather tucked neatly into their fabulously overstuffed cap. With David Cerda’s sharp pen and Tommy Bullington’s spirited direction, The Real Housewives of the North Pole serves up a frosty feast of holiday hilarity that should not be missed.

Recommended for lots of laughs and Handbag-style holiday cheer!

The Real Housewives of the North Pole is being performed at The Clutch Chicago (4335 N. Western Ave) through January 4th. For tickets and/or more show information, visit www.handbagproductions.org.

*Special note - FOLLIES the Annual Hell in a Handbag 2025 Benefit will be taking place at Ebenezer Lutheran Church in Chicago’s Andersonville neighborhood this Sunday, December 7th at 5:30pm-9pm. Per Handbag’s site, the evening will include dinner, drinks, entertainment, a raffle and silent auction.

Tickets ($104 general admission, $129.75*) are available (click HERE for tickets). *Prices include processing fees.

Handbag celebrates its 24th year with a very abbreviated production of Follies – performed Hell in a Handbag style! Watch as aging showgirls, draped in sequined desperation, reunite to belt out twisted parodies of Stephen Sondheim's most iconic numbers including “I'm Still Here,” “Losing My Mind,” “Broadway Baby,” “Beautiful Girls” and other favorites It'll be the hits you love and a show you'll desperately try to forget (with apologies in advance to the spirit of Mr. Sondheim).

The entertainment line-up features ensemble members David Cerda, Sydney Genco, Caitlin Jackson, Ed Jones, Lori Lee, David Lipschutz, Stevie Love, T.J. O'Brien, Michael Rashid, Danne W. Taylor and Robert Williams, along with some surprise guests.

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